I climbed the ladder, heard my dive announced, and began the moves that would push me into the air. Pushing off the diving board with my legs, I lifted my arms and shoulders back, and knew immediately I would be close to the board and might hit my hands. I tried to correct myself as I turned, spreading my hands wide apart. Then I heard a strange sound and my body lost control. Moments later I realized I had hit my head on the board. At the beginning, I felt embarrassed. I wanted to hide, to get out of the pool without anyone seeing me. Next I felt intense fear. Had I cut my head? Was I bleeding? Was there blood in the pool? Swimming to the side, I noticed many shocked faces. People were worried about my head; I was worried about something far more threatening. An official examined my head. In a hurry, I pushed him away, and everyone else who approached me. "Don't touch me!" I felt like screaming. "Get away from me!" These were the trials (选拔赛) for the 1988 Olympics in Seoul, Korea. Until this dive, I had been ahead. But now, something else was more significant than winning. I might have endangered other divers' lives if I had spilled blood in the pool. For what I knew--- that few others knew - was that I was HIV-positive. According to my mother, my natural parents were Samoan (萨摩亚人) and only teenagers when I was born, so they gave me up for adoption. When I was only eighteen months old, I started gym classes. At ten, I explored doing gym exercises off the diving board at the pool. Because of my dark skin, kids at school called me names. My diving made me feel good about myself when my peers made me feel stupid. At sixteen, I knew I had a shot at the 1976 Olympics. Everyone was alarmed when I hit my head on the board in Seoul. Regardless, I made it to the finals. During my last dive in the finals, I enjoyed for the last time the quietness underwater and then swam to the side of the pool. The crowd cheered, and I knew I'd won-two gold medals. AIDS forced me to stop diving; I had to give up diving professionally after the Olympics. |