Ever thought you were really clever but just didn't have the exam results to back it up？ A
nyone who has ever felt academically thick can let out a sigh of relief, because IQ does not, and cannot, predict success in life, says a new book by Steven Stein and Howard Book called The EQ Edge-Emotional Intelligence (EI) and Your Success.
So what is em6tional intelligence？ Occupational psychologist and management consultant Chris Watkins describes it as "the capacity to recognise your own feelings and those of other people, to be able to motivate yourself, and to manage emotions in yourself and in your relationships".
Psychologist and author Anne Dickson also talks of it at length in Trusting the Tides: Self-Empowerment Through Emotions. "Emotional intelligence is about using emotions to learn and understand. To Use them the way we use thought. Feelings are too often dismissed as messy, irrational and childish and most of the time we try and suppress them because they embarrass us and because we fear that they are uncontrollable. Often we end up swallowing them down or else they just erupt. For too long and unfortunately, intelligence has too often been associated with the cognitive and rational which are distinctively unemotional." Says Dickson.
How and why have we been ignoring our emotions？ Educational establishments do not appear to teach us what to do with our feelings. Apart from the odd spurt of expression in the nativity play or a heated debate on the relationship between Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester, emotions, on the whole, are largely unaddressed by the national curriculums. Instead of paying heed and learning from the constant dialogue of emotions inside us, we are led to believe that intelligence is swotting for high school graduation exams, and then going through several years of fast food-eating poverty to get that lauded degree.
But it is the world of work which has finally realised the way to motivate, lead and manage people. And it is not by the traditional method of employing some dusty dysfunctional Ivy League graduate with a list of exam results, but rather someone who has strong people skills. "With regard to IQ's relevance in the workplace, studies have shown that it can serve to predict between 1% and 2% (the average is 6%) of success in a given job. EQ, on the other hand, has been found to be directly responsible for between 27% and 45% of job success depending on which field was under study. "says the book.
And if you need further evidence, a survey of 733 multimillionaires in the US revealed that when asked to rate the factors that were most responsible for their success, the top five answers were: being honest with all people; being well-disciplined; getting along with peopled having a supportive spouse; working harder than most people, it's the simple thing really. You probably want to know where you can get some emotional intelligence？ No, you can't buy it and, no, it can't be emailed or sent in a text message to your mobile phone. EI is about going inwards, taking a good hard look at the black hole inside us which we tend to avoid at all cost.
Dickson offers some words of advice. "Drugs and alcohol are too often used as a way of suppressing emotions. There's an awful lot of people struggling with socially negative feelings while pretending they are not. It's about understanding that all feelings are OK. There's no such thing as good or bad feelings. By understanding what you are feeling, you will begin to understand how to deal with them. "
Psychologist and author Anne Dickson may agree that ______ .
A．we need to use drugs and alcohol to suppress our feelings
B．we can use emotions to set us thinking
C．since all feelings are OK, we can hold them inside us
D．the more we understand our feelings, the better we may handle them
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